i have a million daily thoughts and reminders and ah-hahs and deep reflections or absolutely miniscule detailed images that travel around my heart and head and feed my soul- for which i wish i had a personal secretary.     or one of those notepads which hang around the neck with an attached pencil so as not to be lost, and to make notes for myself from the day. i actually mean more of the philosophical kind, not the laundry or shopping list kind- tho that would be practical in it's own right.      one of the things i'd like to make notes of is a repeated circling experience i have at different points in my life.... for example, when i've been out and about and feeling well in my skin, having nourished some particular aspect of personal need, and i'm on my way home... and i can perceive the energetic magnet of familiarity, of weighted patterns of behaviour, of the tendency to get caught up in/lost with my family &/or relationship life in the way of neglecting my creative needs, or to be in my own world, breathing deeply before a cup of tea OR WHATEVER...      and everytime i'm aware of this onset, this entering the potential of getting lost in the maze again, i ask myself to remember this feeling, this sensing my skin and its edges, and i ask myself if i am able to imagine entering it just a little bit differently this time. not because it's bad- it's a world that i love- but to offer the aspect of myself that tends to drown under the weight of habit and especially old, not-particularly-serving-habits and negative little cynicisms and simply going to bed too late for almost the entirety of my teenage & adult life- a new possibility of behaving, of being.